On Monday I start at Bideford College... Something I have not been looking forward to. As it gets ever closer I have begun to realise how unprepared I am. I cannot remember how to get to my form room in the maze of a school split into blocks A-H and on three levels. Nor do I know how to get into the school, so far I have only got into the school through the usually locked visitors entrance.
Lunch also shall provide a problem for me. As I do not know anyone I shall probably spend my lunch and break times in the library, reading and revising.
I am also worried as to how I am going to be accepted, it took almost a year at Belvoir before I was fully integrated, but I only have a term with these people before we go off to study leave then sixth form...If I do not get integrated before study leave I do not think that I have any chance in sixth form...
A word must also be spoken for those in Libya, for both the British citizens stuck out there, but for the poor people whom have had to struggle under Gaddafi. How any ruler can expect to stay in control of his country after bombing his citizens and using mercenaries against unarmed people, I do not know. I urge the UN and NATO to do all they can to ensure the fall of Gadaffi and the return to peace in the country. I also praise the brave pilots who crashed their own aircraft so they did not have to kill their fellow Libyans.
With this I leave you my fellow comrades... Good luck in your endeavours until we speak next!
Friday 25 February 2011
Sunday 20 February 2011
A New Horizon Approaches...
I am not usually scared of anything. I will do almost anything which involves a risk, just to see the outcome to enable me to store the data I collect can be used again. For example if I jump out of a tree so high, will I injure myself, and if I do, I can use this data the next time I am forced to jump from such a height. There are, as there always is, a few exceptions to this rule. They revolve around the damned "Wiring" in my head being tangled and not in th right places (A textbook description of any ASD) The wiring in my particular head gets particularly tangled when it comes to social interactions. For 3 secondary schools (Years 7-10) I was unable to fit into a school environment. I was violent and aggressive towards other pupils, my family and very nearly a teacher. Bearing in mind that at the time I was one of the most scrawny lads you could have imagined, I was bullied to very close to my limit.
Then I stumbled across a gem of a school, a school where, after a short duration, I was accepted. To this very day I do not know how. This gem was my school for nearly 3 years (The longest I had ever been to a single secondary school) The school offered everything I could ever need, great staff who went out of their way to help students and also great pupils, of whom seemed to be my first ever friends since year 4. I even started playing Rugby whilst there, and played for the school.
But then a ripple started to spread. I do not know of the origins and neither do I know when the repercussions will end, but I was forced to leave my home. I was forced to leave the only place I felt safe and welcomed, for an unknown reason. To make it worse I was being moved so far away from the area that attending the school full-time was/is not possible. So I am being forced to attend a local school. The day after my last post (When I was accepted as a "guest" pupil) I went in for a "taster" (A tour and tutor time with the pupils.)
This was a nightmare, as it would be for anyother ASD child. I was thrust way out of my comfort zone, to meet new people, with whom I had no connnection with whatsoever, for I did not know any of the pupils previously, or through mutual friends. This time is stressful enough for neurotypicals, but for me it made me want to run away. To get the quickest bus back to my Grandparents, from where I could grab my already set aside "grab - bag" containing everything I could ever need to sustain myself indefinately. I managed to last until the end of the form time which I had been told to attend, and then I returned to my Grandparents.
Oh dear reader, it seems that I am unable to express my feelings in any other way than of through this blog... I apologise and I would not blame you if you did not return! I will write soon, probably, so until then comrades...
Then I stumbled across a gem of a school, a school where, after a short duration, I was accepted. To this very day I do not know how. This gem was my school for nearly 3 years (The longest I had ever been to a single secondary school) The school offered everything I could ever need, great staff who went out of their way to help students and also great pupils, of whom seemed to be my first ever friends since year 4. I even started playing Rugby whilst there, and played for the school.
But then a ripple started to spread. I do not know of the origins and neither do I know when the repercussions will end, but I was forced to leave my home. I was forced to leave the only place I felt safe and welcomed, for an unknown reason. To make it worse I was being moved so far away from the area that attending the school full-time was/is not possible. So I am being forced to attend a local school. The day after my last post (When I was accepted as a "guest" pupil) I went in for a "taster" (A tour and tutor time with the pupils.)
This was a nightmare, as it would be for anyother ASD child. I was thrust way out of my comfort zone, to meet new people, with whom I had no connnection with whatsoever, for I did not know any of the pupils previously, or through mutual friends. This time is stressful enough for neurotypicals, but for me it made me want to run away. To get the quickest bus back to my Grandparents, from where I could grab my already set aside "grab - bag" containing everything I could ever need to sustain myself indefinately. I managed to last until the end of the form time which I had been told to attend, and then I returned to my Grandparents.
Oh dear reader, it seems that I am unable to express my feelings in any other way than of through this blog... I apologise and I would not blame you if you did not return! I will write soon, probably, so until then comrades...
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